9/28/10

70 minutes on the treadmill - after 10 i didn't think i could do it.  the treadmill is so boring when i'm watching tv.  however by the time i got to 30 minutes, i was feeling great and kicked it up.  i now need to stop worrying about my weight.  i'm healthy, i exercise every day and i eat right.  does 5 pounds matter?  i'm strong and i look great. period.  does it sound like i'm trying to convince you or me?

let's get off weight, cuz maybe i'm just nervous about the 1/2 marathon on sunday.  i'd rather think about the weight and those 5 pounds than think about that.

9/25/10

12 miles down, 14 to go!  did i really just 'pull that out of my butt?'  i'm still amazed as each week i push myself farther than i've ever gone!  each week brings a new level of "WHOA!  LOOK WHAT I JUST DID!"  i love that feeling and i'm kinda getting greedy for it!  not in a "show off" way, just "i'm so proud of what i'm able to do!"

9/25/10

wow! 12 miles down and 14 to go.  what a great time running 12 miles.  i'm amazed each week as i push myself farther than i've ever gone before.  each week is a new experience in, dare i say, something like "great"!  i love how i amaze myself and i'm kinda getting greedy for it!

9/23/10

I could not bring my body to move in any way today.  my mind really wanted to run and felt i "should" run, but that thought never made it to the past my mouth.  was i a slug, sloth, or smart?  did i just need a rest.  maybe, cuz i feel much better now.   runner's block? maybe

9/18/10

laced up today and didn't wear a watch or turn on the gps -- just went for a run for the fun! what a great time!  i'm still nervous when i start out.  why do i think i can't do this.  i'm so afraid that is will end and i'll stop running or this was just a "phase".  i want this to last, not just because i look great or feel great, but because i really do enjoy "being a runner".  i love watching my feet carry me and being in my own head.  i turned around just because i knew i had to get home, but not because i wanted to.  what a great feeling looking at the sky, trees, grass, other people...it was such a joy.  i love saying hi to someone passing me.  whoa, i almost forgot about that one woman -- on the last mile, i was in the "walk" phase of my interval and she trotted by me, which was cool, except as she went by she said i was her pacer for awhile now.  that encouraged me (can you believe i was someone else's "pacer"!).  once i started the run portion again, i had to pass her, just because of ego, it was just my pace.  the last 10th of the mile i sprinted to the "finish" in victory over myself, a biker said "great finish", then i turned to cheer her on.  it was completely wonderful!

9/14/10

an hour just went by and i'm still amazed how much i love running.  just seeing the fog on the resevoir and watching the sun burn it off and knowing i'm the only one out there.  i also enjoy the quiet, only talking to myself.  i'm not sure i can do that for more than an hour, but for just an hour a week i do so love it.  am i running away from something i don't want to face or running to find something i didn't know existed.  not sure which but for now i'm enjoying the journey and hoping i succeed at success (thanks john bingham!).

9/11/10

so we're on an "off" week - long run next week.  we start at 7:30am for a short 6 mile run.  there was a time, in the not so distant past that that previous sentence would never have been typed!  it was a gorgeous day and for a brief time it was easy to forget what happed 9 years ago and just look and enjoy the beauty of what God created.  there was a point at mile 4 on our return when i looked up and saw the BLUE-est sky with the GREEN-est trees and just marveled at what God painted for me.  there was not another runner except for me and my partner so i couldn't help but be a bit conceited to think that God made those colors just so we could see and enjoy them -- see & enjoy them i did!!!  6 miles in 73 minutes wasn't so bad either!

9/10/10

I realized I had an epiphany yesterday when I chose to lace up rather than snooze in.  I am a runner!  I am an athlete!  I care what goes in my body and how it affects what I can do with my body.  But that doesn't mean I'm a failure that I can't run sub-10 minute mile.  I'm totally impressed with myself that I am doing what 4 months ago seemed totally impossible.  I'm learning that lesson about dream it and you can do it!

9/9/10

who is this person who laces up on a day that she can sleep in?  I hit the snooze and slept in until 7:30, and what shocked me more than anything else (so far today) was that I got up, got my running gear on and headed out the door.  there was a time in the not so distant past that I would have just hit the snooze again and slept in until I was late for work!  alone on the road was great today, just watching the lake, keeping my eye on the dirt road and wondering how many times that guy in the red shirt would pass me as he kept doing laps on the road.  close to 1/2 way out, he cheered me on and that helped me dig down and get my pace up ... oh and be so 'confident' that I missed stepped and almost wiped out on the road -- did anyone see that???  trotting back renewed my sense of "I'm not this great a runner, but I'm having a great time!"  And because I got up and pushed myself, I got to see this weird bird, was it a pelican? and that snake in the road totally freaked me out!  But what was the most impressive was the last 30 seconds when I saw my driveway, I once again dug deep inside and kicked it up a notch to sprint to the "finish line" to make it!   What could possible go wrong today???? NOTHING!

I can do this

I've been running for about 3 months and each run brings anxiety.  Although I've trained myself to be able to do 3 miles confidently (not necessarily "fast"), I still doubt what I'm able to accomplish.  But by the time the run is over, no matter how long or how far I run, I experience the same sense of accomplish - I CAN DO THIS!  Now to translate that ability to my life!  Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world!