maybe i've been too scared to write, but since the last time, i've done an 18 mile training run, ran my normal 8 miles, enjoyed thanksgiving, then a 10 mile run. i know my shoes show signs of running, i've washed tons of running clothes, logged my miles in from my gps watch, but i still don't know if i actually did it. i mean, really, is it me running? i did 18 miles and i'm scared to death about 20 or 22 or 26.2. is that good to be scared? not sure, but i'm not confident. i started to get confident before my last 10 mile run and had to walk the last 1/2 mile to do "bathroom" issues. BLAH! i don't want encouragement, how can anyone encourage me that i can do something i don't believe i'm doing??? ok, so i'm having a hard day. hormones or runner's anxiety? not sure but i'm scared and i'm afraid i'm hitting a wall. or i'm afraid that the wall is at the start. my running partner says i don't complain, well that's because if i say this junk out loud, it may actually be true.
ok, let's chalk this up to runner's anxiety coupled with hormones and just keep "forward motion"!
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