Monday, November 29, 2010

11/29/10

maybe i've been too scared to write, but since the last time, i've done an 18 mile training run, ran my normal 8 miles, enjoyed thanksgiving, then a 10 mile run.  i know my shoes show signs of running, i've washed tons of running clothes, logged my miles in from my gps watch, but i still don't know if i actually did it.  i mean, really, is it me running?  i did 18 miles and i'm scared to death about 20 or 22 or 26.2.  is that good to be scared?  not sure, but i'm not confident.  i started to get confident before my last 10 mile run and had to walk the last 1/2 mile to do "bathroom" issues.  BLAH!  i don't want encouragement, how can anyone encourage me that i can do something i don't believe i'm doing???  ok, so i'm having a hard day.  hormones or runner's anxiety? not sure but i'm scared and i'm afraid i'm hitting a wall. or i'm afraid that the wall is at the start.  my running partner says i don't complain, well that's because if i say this junk out loud, it may actually be true. 

ok, let's chalk this up to runner's anxiety coupled with hormones and just keep "forward motion"!

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